Who or what are you really living for?

Been kind of caught up with anime.

Katekyo hitman reborn~!

random musing:
1) I think the anime tells a lot of life lessons. Which is probably why i always love those type of anime/manga. A dash of humor plus lots and lots of things you can learn in it. Like furuba and d.gray man.
2) EXAMS. are. over. (for now at least)
3) I miss lifegroup. A. LOT. I don't even spend much time as i want to now... it seems sad to be so caught up in my life that i don't really spend much of it with them at all.

4)Someone stole my money. So irritated. gah.

5) I want to learn japanese!! I realize i spoke jap in one of my dreams. Heee. It seems bad to watch anime late at nights now... i don't even understand what i was saying in my dreams!!

6) I dreamed of lao shi for a few nights now. It seems utterly traumatizing.

7) Tomorrow is the last day. (ever) for choir. Somehow i'm looking forward to it. Or not.

A theory that I think God spoke to me about. Or one of those lil chats i have with Him.

When we are young, we get upset over tiny little things no? Crying it out, making a huge fuss of it. Adults and the people around us probably won't understand any of the fuss we are kicking up. Then again, we probably didn't and tend to forget about them in a short while. It's not about not remembering it, but we tend to get over things much easier then.
As we grow up, sure the things have changed, the people around our life have too. And we probably get upset for lesser stuff. The most amusing part of it is that unlike our young self, we can't get over the hurt in our life, no longer do we get over it within minutes, some are lucky to even walk out of being upset or depressed.

And harsh as it gets, it will get tougher this road we are walking. There will be more situations to handle, more stuffs to be depressed over. And that's also another reason why people can't let go, they can't get over the past, of significance of their life. To them, the memories spent had been their support, something they could have a reason to wake up to everyday with a smile. Think about it. Isn't it kind of sad if we live our life as though it is in the past yet waste the present?

You are not living in your past. Your past only reflect to you, the things you have done, the things you should learn. They are a part of you but they are not something that should determine your future. Ironic how we can deal better with setbacks when we are young, yet fail or forgotten how to get over it when we get older. It's not about the degree of the problem, it's the mindset that comes to deal with it.

Another thing, i don't get why people say live your life as though it's the last day you could ever live. To me, it's rubbish. Seriously, if it was the last day of your life, i doubt anyone would go about life being cherry and try to accomplish whatever they could do with that last day, rather most would just spend it being depressed and upset. I rather live life as though it's the first day you were born. Born, in the sense where you accepted Christ. Your old self has died, and your new self rejoice over Him being in it. That's how we should have live each day.

Grateful. Happy. Hopeful. And utterly blessed. Who or what is your support of your life? Who or what are you really fighting for? What is the thing that keep you fighting, the thing that keep you moving forward? What then is the meaning to life? Life has no meaning unless we give it one. I chose to give mine to Him. What about you?

Sometimes i just genuinely want to shut myself up.

Not wallowing in self pity or negativity,

But just not feeling anything.

it seems strange.
up till now, i still feel left out.

But it's as though now,

i'm fighting a war.