It looks a lot like love

was reading through my secondary school posts and thinking about what have been happening for the past few days...

I.. have realized.. that the layers of myself that I've been discovering, one by one, I'm peeling them off.. remind me of the poem we had to analyze, of how they depicted love as an onion. HAHAHA. Okay.. anyway..

I was thinking of how emo I used to be, depressed.. rejecting every single care and concern, pushing people away.. or the time I was so damn bitchy about people.. vulgar.. violent.. all that slowly fade away.. like a layer I had peel off.. But it had left me scars, leaving me afraid to trust people.. and  that leaves me to ponder much.. soulmate ask me today, "it leads me to wonder just how many people do you truly trust.."

Do I even have the answer to that..

Come a new school, a new environment.. I was happy for awhile, when all that slowly fades away as I let insecurities, paranoia seeps into it. I was in a relationship, i was foolish to have plunged head on, knowing fully the consequences, up till now, I haven't regretted it but it has also made me question what is truly love, and whether did I truly love the guy.. Yes he has been there for me, taken care of me, that I'm grateful for. But to say that was love.. maybe it hadn't been. The events that occurs after that, led me bitter and perhaps to a certain extent, anger and hatred towards it.
~ ~ ~

I found someone unexpectedly in my cca. One that loves music just as crazily as I do, one that do just about the most craziest that I do, one who's just as emotional as me. I'll write about him in another post or so. But for now, let's just say, it looks a lot like love.