The chase and the pursuit

I finally ended all 6 camps. Man that took all the strength and effort out of me, God bless me for whatever crazy impulse it was that make me signed up. I'm glad for the opportunity given because I was someone who was so afraid of trying to be OGL back when I was in junior college. I was afraid i would have panic attack, i was afraid of breaking down, of being a liability rather than an asset to help boost the og. I did became an ogl in the end, i did break down, but i learn from it. But man, even i was surprised i survived all 6.
-
My first prep camp was fac. Man, that one was fun. Even though it wasn't full strength, I was happy because we were always enthu, we cared for each other, we had our htht, and we always get scolded for excluding ourselves out. We had the most liability which always make our body count the lowest among the rest of the ogs, but i guess it was because of that, that we grew closer to other fac members as well. From that camp, all I could do was look forward to the actual camp. I wasn't feeling well then so I had a minor panic attack then which I didn't exactly tell anyone about.
-
Second prep camp was scamp. Ohmygosh, that was awkward. I wasn't participative in it at all, bella was pulled out of camp. All i could feel was loneliness seeping in. It didn't help that I had relationship problems to handle with. I remember the nights where I sleep damn late and I just excluded myself from all the night sessions, also because i wasn't interested in riddles and puzzles. I was glad though that at the very least,  I had someone who looked out for me.
-
Third camp was life science. That camp was hilarious, because my house had the most number of people, that they make us play against each other in the same house. I like the environment there cause we were so small, we could all go for supper or have our htht sessions, but man it was freezing cold. I hated it so much, I think i swore to find somewhere else to sleep for actual camp for scamp. That camp i found out one of my friends that i made then was gonna leave, it took me all the strength it could to not cry, i hated the idea of leaving, i hated being so affected by it and that was when i realized I'm still pretty much emotional.
-
Fourth camp was scamp. Things were still pretty awkward and i guess having your friend's ex boyfriend there didnt make matters any better. The guys look out for me and make sure that no matter what I was never left alone with him, so for that I was thankful. I hated the first two days because I couldn't talk to one of my close friends cause he was a fake freshie so I legit had no one to turn to when we all went to sleep. But i was grateful that I made a bunch of friends outside and ended up having a mini clique. Oh my gosh, the reason we got together was so hilarious, not to mention how slow i was in realizing that one of them was actually the person sleeping next to me the whole time! I bonded more with the freshies than the seniors, and i was so taken aback by how lupsup the girls were, ohmytian, they ended up explaining some of the stuff to me. The camp was such a turbulent one, where there were tension between my ogl and i. There were tension between my friend, my seniors, me and a camper. It was mytian, drama and more drama.  The last night i just cried, cause i never expected myself to make such an impact to the freshies, I remember people thanking me for things I dont even remember anymore. I was just so happy for all the things that I learnt from there and the friends that I have made.
-
Fifth camp was obviously something I had looked forward to ever since the seniors have our meetup at st. games. I love the cheers that we made, but I love our og more. They were the loveliest bunch ever, seeing them slowly opening up more and more. I love our htht sessions, all of them. Even those we had during meal time where we make cold jokes, riddles to ghost stories. But burning bridges was bad, and that night the seniors all went back feeling so guilty. I'm glad that we managed to build bridges and make them more bonded with each other. I'm so touched when they offered to buy supper for us, and even ask another og to do the same. I'm so damn proud of them for their skit and speech, for their active participation even when we are all dying. Because there were choir girls inside, we always end up singing, i'm grateful for those moments too where I started feeling more cared for, cause that camp, i burnt out. I started having flu, having fever and I was just feeling terrible, also because i was confronted with issues and i didn't know who to turn to. Endless blaming on my part and how I just had to put a front, I think i just stayed out that night at the playground, cause I was just upset. But that was my own end, this og has carved a special place in my heart and became my bias which make it hard for me to move on to my next camp without feeling the hangover
-
sixth camp was my last camp, i felt guilty for always counting down the days to the last day because i was just so tired. I remember the days where i just spent sleeping, anywhere possible. I am thankful for such an enthusiastic og. I was so shocked on the first day when they were so loud doing their first cheer, it was easy to talk to them because there were people with scamp experience. But i still miss my previous og sorely and kept comparing them. With that guilt trip, I did do more effort on my part to bond them and I guess they felt that too cause they were always zi high. I'm damn proud of them for always cheering and being craycray cause they taught me how, it doesnt matter whether you win or not, it's all about the fun. They weren't the most bonded but they are definitely the craziest. So i have my share of face being painted or just being teased like crazy, I was surprised when this lovely bunch surprised me and my seniors with cupcakes one night because they felt bad that we kept treating them. And if that was not enough, during the last day, they called into the radio station to dedicate songs to us, and even to the last point, they would cheer whenever they take photographs. The seniors and I all felt like superstars with their fangirling. I'm proud to be their ogl, to be able to lead them, to be able to care for them and the committee was so damn impressed by us that even though we didnt win best og, they created another prize for us because we were just that good. Just felt so thankful for them.
-

I settled my problems with each and every camp in the end. The memories carved will always stay and I couldn't be more sad that my camps have all ended. I love each moment, even those screwed up ones. I couldn't say I was happy all the way but I definitely learn and grew a lot more during this phase than i did during my first year in uni. Ah the hangover effect is still here, but there are always outings to look forward to. And ohmytian, all three og are so crazy about meeting, i think we are already planning our second/third outing already. HAHAHA.

Blessed by you guys!