i would be lying if i say i'm not disappointed today.

rant rant rant. skip if you wish to.

i feel like laying it all and point fingers of accusation.

But i realize end of it all, it just boils down to our batch.

things that took years to build, just came down in moments.

it really break me inside.

I keep telling myself not to care too much for fear i will just

get disappointed inside.

"Expectations kills everything"

It really hurts every time i try so hard to persuade them

to come, to love the things i do. To love, enjoy, singing in unity.

All just came crashing down today.

When i first look at the shoes outside... i was like

it can't be. there couldn't be so little people.

Maybe sectionals.

Maybe it's another cca.

All the false hope just disappeared when i stepped in.

The pathetic state of it all.

My section fared the worst.

I can't help but blaming it all on myself.

I can't believe i was the only senior beside chi sin to actually be there

in my section.

I'm not going to lay out names. not to embarrass nor to make you all

guilty.

Just take awhile to think.

did you even like it?

did you dislike being in it or the people in it?

honestly. ask yourselves these.

Cause i have no more strength inside me to convince

you all to care nor to come. I feel like giving up.

Really.

People i thought would care, would be dedicated,

selfishly took it upon themselves to skip it.

I mean and i bet this goes in their head

It's okay to skip..

I have tuition. I have other commitments. I have to study. I have exams coming.

No one would miss me anyway.

So much priority, it just never surfaced to them that every single one would

have the same thought.

I did have tons of homework pilling. Projects to do. Lessons to attend. Revision.

I'm not very free either.. i'm not even suppose to be online. but i really feel like getting this off my chest

so don't get offended if you happen to be one of them.

3. pathetic 3. How much lower would you sink.

Do i really have to resort to bribes so that you would come?

lack of discipline. Lack of commitment. Lack of responsibility.

Absolutely no self reliance.

spend it all relying. 3 whole years.

Spending all these time on complaints how much this sucks...

Chosen.. i had given trying to convince the blind to see the light.

If we ourselves skipped, how do we expect others not to follow the same?

How do we expect the next elected to lead?

i don't get the mentality. We always question why we been getting the same

award over and over again, but do we deserve something higher?

i won't be surprised if we only get certificates this time.

I wish to wash my hands off. Ask them to get the damn stuff done themselves.

We have no reasons to comply to their unreasonable demands and be slaves.

To get our efforts slapped. I still have to fret over collecting money

which is what i am not supposed to be doing but doing the necessary for the

ungrateful.Bang pots and pans. Never hit the head.

rant over.

Went to order. hiccups here and there. But we're finally done. One thing i'm proud of today

is that i've done something that I though i would never do.

But i keep having gastric. And i came back, feeling so dizzy

due to the overwhelming quotations.

I can just choose a shop that sells exorbitant prices then rush back.

But no, because i give a damn about them, i went around before settling down

to a shop which helps a lot. Rushing back to get efforts slapped.

I bet none of them check their emails.

Now i have to be a "loanshark" as if i have nothing much better to do now.

patience i have been trying not to be disappointed. reassuring myself

time after time, that this will be their last. They have good reasons.

It's a vicious cycle can't you see?

That once you started, you can't stop.

And we have all fallen

to shambles.

I'm sorry if it offended anyone because i really AM disappointed. VERY upset. If you can't stand the bare truth thrust out in front of you, i have nothing to say.