Hello September

Ello~!

It's already september. wow. Time flies man.. :( And soon it will be time when we graduate.. I don't want leave school :( I will miss a bunch of people and the memories and not to forget the teachers there. They really change my life a lot. (okay, some just gave me more homework but still.)
That remind me teachers' day was awesome. I met up with rachel after the whole thing. Saw some of my ex-seniors too. Collected my memo and more medicine from doctor. But for now am a happy girl cause i haven't acted up for about a week lurh.. so haftha keep doing whatever I was doing.. But been sick a lot. Ls, dizzy, flu, and a slight fever. Somehow that did not deter me from going out everyday hee ^^

I finished my holiday homework woooooohhh. So now left with revision~~

Oh yesh!!! I met up with a few Lg too. April and Rachiee. Am going for Lg too on wed (: Hope it's okay though.. I mean after all, I haven't been going for sooooo long, and it just might get a lil more awkward than usual, and knowing me, I will probably either be stoning and just be sticking next to april. Nat told me this and I think i myself have to admit too, that i can't keep running and avoiding things forever, I will have to face up to things and somehow just go along with things. I'll see how...

Nat and lynn really really touched me these few days with their encouragement and support. Knowing i'm facing a tough time now, thank you deariesssss. Of course, there are others as well such as joes and char ( but that's just one complicating thing). I was tearing a lot even during nat's church service, cause i realize the first thing i had run away from was my own identity. Who I am truly. And just been doing and basing my own thing using my perspectives towards things, and not looking at how people are trying.trying so hard just to reach their hands out to me. I had just been silently pushing their hands away either because of my stubborn pride or because i was too worried that i will be a burden or i was too afraid to even reach out again. and of course, i couldn't have really hang out without lao shi. She really really taught me a lot, outside classroom stuff too. Though i realize too, i haven't been fair towards her either, always shutting myself away from just about everything...

Yesterday I broke down, keep crying and crying. Something happen at home, but yeah, I'm not gonna state here for privacy sake, but it also make me realize how fragile i was, and how easily shattered I become without the support and help from the people around me. True I can't always depend on people but it's also true, i have started to become someone I never want myself to be. A fake.

So i shall tore the mask away.

leaning towards Your shoulder,

i heave a sigh of relief.

For i know i have Your support.

I know i will be safe.

For You rescue me from the darkness

You loved me even knowing my weaknesses.

You held on to me despite the harsh nights and days.

for You love me so much, who am I to even deny that truth that

I have been running away from?

How long can i run from My Father's embrace?

By the way, A word for an advice : if you want to gossip about someone, you are failing miserably.