Walking Disaster

okay, i was at popular today reading the book i always adore : walking disaster.

It was like a male part to the version of beautiful disaster. Reading it always make me feel really nostalgic.. really heavy somehow.. maybe it's just the way the emotions were brought out.. Travis is a pure disaster of his own, he's a messed up person.. Abby and him always have so much to work out...

-spoiler-
thinking back, just how did Abby trust that Travis would stay faithful to her..? How did they even figure out the whole meeting finance meets? Granted that Abby is damn lucky when it comes to cards and Travis is damn good at fighting.. but was that how their children are gonna grow up.. in the world of violence..? And they just went to marry..

I just feel so in love with just how crazy they are for each other, all the messed up love, all the adrenaline rush   through when they were figuring out whether they would break their platonic friendship just to go one step further.. and knowing that the other party may not return that feeling unnerves them.
-end of spoiler-

Isnt that how love is? the whole worrying about whether the other party would return, how scared you are that he/she will hurt you. how terrible frightened you will get if all you get is just your feelings played.. how messed up your head/ thinking get when your very actions is always pulled by him/her, how your feelings are no longer of your own to call, but his/her to possess.

You spend your days staring at your phone, wondering if he/she will call/text, wondering if they miss you as much as you misses them. Whether they will even care/love deeply as much as you do to them, wondering whether your actions is too clingy, too possessive, too selfish, too immature.. too not right for him/her. You wonder whether always making the first move makes you tired, you wonder whether your enough will ever be enough.. you wonder this, you think about that.

but then again, maybe im just a sucker for chick romance.. but i like these series unlike others is not because of how the girl like the guy, the guy like the girl, they go through a few breakup, problems and patch and live happily ever after, no.

they didnt.

They went through crazy times, of forcing out uncomfortable truth, they went through temptation of reality.

i guess that's what they always say, life makes love looks hard, the stakes are high, the water's rough. but this love is ours.