Cheating

No, this aint personal encounter but it is one that struck me deeply during one of my conversation with my friend.
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I understand that we all sometimes made mistake in choosing the partners, and we end up switching, divorcing or separating and all. But like any actions, are we really ready for the consequences?

When we make a commitment to each other, it is and I hope that one that both truly felt the impact and believed that they would stay together with each other, for better or for worse, for sickness and in poverty. But when one no longer believe it, when arguments start happening, when we begin to lose sight of the possibility of being together.. does it make it any better to cheat?

Cheating.

It consumes and destroy in its path. Ravages through the skins and thoughts. With it, comes every creeping insecurities that could happen. Every single action that was before begin to be questioned and re-assessed. Did i do something wrong to cause you to stray? Did I perhaps not love you enough? What happened to forever. Now to give a disclaimer, yes there may not be simply a I love you forever and ever, but what happened to the other party when that forever is intruded upon by a third party?

Perhaps I will never truly understand the magnitude and consequences of what it feels like to be cheated upon. But for one that has been, how do you truly recover from that scar? The paranoia that will seize you, the doubts that anyone will stay beside you, what happens if you have a child bore from that marriage?

Will you be able to face that child of that marriage with bravery? To look at the child beyond just a  proof of a love that has once faded between two of you, the hurt that has been inflicted upon you. Can you see the child for him/her and love with that no reservations. What then happen if the other party start having children with another, would you truly be okay? Would it hurt lesser if you know you are but a passing phase of the past.

Cheating hurts more when the other party is of a decent character. Where the fatal flaw was not that there was no love or concern between the two of you but of the fact, that he/she loves someone more. And that comparison will eats away into the conscience and you cant possibly be able to forgive nor forget that hurt.

that is not to say no one truly recover from cheating, they do. but often with time, and often with an endless question and chasing of answers, the pointless pursuits of salvaging through for the pain inflicted is one so deeply embedded.