Cluttered mind

somehow there is something wrong with chrome in my laptop, which makes work utterly frustrating since this is also the period of time when most submissions are due. This has now been a case of me resorting to use russ' lappy till i get mine fixed or whenever i dragged my lazy ass down to get it fixed. Speaking of submission, the recent one left me utterly disappointed and frustrated with the work attitude of people. Probably vowing never to work with the particular group again.

Work work work, guess who is struck with food poisoning. It is i, the ever sick girl. I haven't had food poisoning in a very long time, granted there were times of bad diarrhea and all, but ugh, this time round was full blown projectile. That left me utterly vulnerable and shitty about myself the whole entire time. I hate to say it but whenever i'm sick, it's like my confidence level takes a blow as well as i remember all the times when i really needed care and concern most, only to be shrugged aside by the people I'm closest to, perhaps that has triggered me to not love myself as much too.
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I later found out my chrome and safari had adwares. Gasp. Somehow i panicked at the idea of not being able to use my computer to do work, but just once i wished i dont have to rush through assignments and could take a break then i realize i give myself quite a lot of room for procrastination such as chionging my references and appendix on the day of deadline. Gah. I need proper time management, that, all my panic button is like currently on auto shutdown.
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I don't know why but I'm at a stage where I'm comfortable spending my life either in solitude or with one favourite human being. It scares me that I dont feel worried that things may end but maybe it's because I have finally allowed myself to hope a little that things wont go wrong this time round and that even if fights do occur, this would not end. But meh, shall not jinx myself here.
- gah. I'm supposed to write my 500 words report. WHAT AM I DOING.