Well I had always look forward to this semester because I can finally do stuff that I wanted to do (yey!) It's tiring af, because there are so many field trips and reports to write gah. And unearthly hours means my sleep cycle is officially fucked. But hey, still holding on. Been at a loss recently because as much as i love field trips, observing species, identifying them, I absolutely hate reports. And sadly it also means that I might not be very suitable to go into research field and thus leave me rather at a loss of where to go, and it's absolutely frightening because my life in uni may very well be coming to an end, and oh god, I'm not sure i'm ready for workforce or even settling down or start a family. It seems so surreal. Five years ago, I was still in secondary sch and now i'm on my way to paying for my bills.
So last night shook me really hard, maybe it's just I havent really like broke down in awhile. It's a bit exposing kindda feeling, I guess cause well after depression hits, I found it unable to cry and all, then I got a little bit better. So yes yesterday, well it was just a passing remark if anything. But I DON'T KNOW.
Speaking of sleep, so recently I have seen many many couples fighting. Call it the summer of breakup spillover or anything. But just feel like as I counsel the couple after another, I unconsciously compare them to mine and I'm just like, is it really difficult? It's hard to find someone who share mutual affection as you so why is there such insistence on pride that you guys just can't let go..? But meh, not my place to really comment much also, thankful that at least my clique doesn't have that much rar rar
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