a pity we all grew up so fast

fifth semester, i am finally able to do things I want to do. to pursue the modules i want to and it was surprisingly a relief.
this semester seen me being a relationship counsellor. HAHA I mean it's something that I have been doing since god knows when,
but it just feels ironical whenever you see a couple going through the same phase as the other, not saying that all relationships are the same
but still.
here's to all the times spend consoling humans after humans. here's to also the most awesome TA i ever gotten and how he later ended up placing me
in marine lab and i could not be more thankful he was my TA.

I almost forgot to mention, fifth semester was also known as the great depression. I lost this uni clique of mine that I grew close to and it can't be helped since i fell out with one of my closest friend in uni. I think it will always haunt me, how one camp could turn a friendship upside down.
-
Sixth semester, most stressful semester because there is just so much riding on this semester. I keep thinking to myself whether i should graduate or should i just keep persisting on and seeing where it takes me. It is also the semester where i just snapped. Like I ended up being really pissed at pretty much everything because each assessment suddenly seem more stressful than usual. I used to think that behavioral bio is my calling but as i take it, i realize that is pretty much not the case. AHAHHAH, and surprisingly started
really loving taxonomy instead. And the sad thing of course, is how taxonomy is a dying field.
-
Last semester, i didn't know it was my last to be honest. I kind of went in this semester feeling 50-50 about everything. Future is still this great big unknown that I am unsure of, and scared of. Like it just feel responsibilities and the expectations to know exactly where you should be and want to be needed to be planned out right there and then. But instead of finding answer, i just have more questions, more doubts on whether this degree that I struggled my ass off is worth it. Whether i should have just fought to do veterinary instead, but seeing how irked out I was over bird dissection, i can't tell whether it was a better choice that I did not do. Volunteer at marine lab and it was ohmygoodness, really really something. I love going outfield, okay maybe not the sleep deprivation but it was really an eyeopener.
-
then i started work. And life just pretty much seemed sucked out of me. aahaha i think a part of me was still not ready to let go of the undergraduate life and its partying. But the transition back home was surprisingly smoother so hopefully these hell weeks will pass.