pregunta por favor

and once again, a month has passed and i feel as if I once again felt like a truck load of information and things have happened.

where do I even begin.. things are starting to slow down at work, which is good because it meant I have more time on my end to figure things out, be it on myself or on the direction I am going for. Which brought me to my next point, felt great to finally take care of myself mentally and starting to put in more effort to take care of the little things too like skincare routine and hair. Man, never thought a day would come where I actually try to figure things out, and honestly it felt pretty good to have a semblance of control, even just a slight one on things. Mental health days have seen me starting to bake again and maybe cook, I'm still trying to figure out how to best incorporate a good cooking diet as well as exercise regime, so I guess these couple of weeks will be more experimental phase as well. It also means I finish this damn wholesome tv show, scrubs, man how did I not notice this during the younger times. Not sure why but these days, having a hard time finishing animes or manga, started leaning more towards show, watched you afterwards, I wasn't sure if it was because I watched such a damn wholesome show that you just feel so unsettling, dark and toxic. HAHAHA I also loan a friend one of my favourite book, wasn't sure whether is it cause i outgrew the usual damsel in distress and toxic relations, but these days feel really unsettling, that any form of toxicity just feel a little tad too much

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trembling fingers, shaking breaths
you undo my buttons, one by one
is this right, is this right
that deafening alarm bells
or were they warning signs

that cool touch, the quiet caress
that lonesome shadow, peeled on the window
nothing was shared, yet attachment grew
that pesky sunlight, that reminder
that our nights have ended, and so have our ties

once more, one more text
a fumbling rush, an intoxication mistake
strewn words, messily stitched
the silent rebel, the reckless pecks

the swallowing silence
the ache. the ache.