I will not fall asleep during silent reading. i will not fall asleep during silent reading.

-

I hope hope hope hope hope that i did well for my chinese..

i improved from a fail!!! Yes.... though overall still suck ;/

but at least i improved... :D

God bless.

hmm... improve on handwriting. HAHAHA.

di di, if i get a stomachache,

it was due to burnt cookies and half cooked food.

but it was fun nonetheless.

we studied too!

yeshhhhh.

till the very next day, dum dum dum dum dum dum dum~

Who knew. Stones hurt bones. Words kill. But it is the memories that do it ten folds worse.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

whee. today went for dp with mel and rach.

felt better.. like soothing?

Praise the One and Only.

Carmey wants me to post.

so apparently she is still looking at the blog.

HI CARMEY THE CARAMEL.

so set. going with carmen ^^

hope this time, we can have another LF outing~

whee. looking forward to exams being over.

Tomorrow, will be a memorable day.

Getting killed by her, after she kept her promised :D

MUST HOR.

Carmen says (3:34 PM):

*-.-

*-.-

*-.-

*LETS STAY BACK IN SCHOOL ON MON

daph says (3:35 PM):

*I thought they don't allow?

Carmen says (3:35 PM):

*then, i can oersonally murder you then!

**personally

*really ah?

*why?

*:(

*now i cant murder you

*sobsob

*sad

caramel said the poems were scary.. effect accomplished.

lifted away from self blame, guilt and torment,

i begin to see the light.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, Fill this out IN YOUR OWN WORDS and repost as,"My Autobiography"... And use your own answers, not anyone else's
( i decided to put it on my blog)

1. Where did you take your profile pic?

avt. a1~

2. What exactly are you wearing right now?

shirt.. shorts

3.What is your current problem?

haha, if only it was so easy to answer.

4. What makes you happy most?

people. music. lollipop.

5. What's the name of the song that you're listening to?

perfect- simple plan

6. Any celeb you would marry?

-

7. Name someone with the same birthday as you?

siew jia. a teacher.

8. Ever sang in front of a large audience?

always.

9. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?

no. i want to look like myself :D

10. Do you still watch kiddy movies or kiddie TV shows?

yep! ^^

11. Do you speak any languages?

of course.

12. Has anyone you've been really close with passed away?

quite.

13. Do you ever watch MTV?

LOVE>

14. What's something that really annoys you.

hypocrites.

*Chapter 1:

1. Middle name: -

2. Nickname(s): ding dong. tong tong. jie. mei. sister in law. duck. ducky. daffy. daph. death. deaf etc.

3. Current location: somewhere.

4. Eye color: Black.(but my friend say i have cat eyes. like the inside is another colour or something. funny.. ha. ha. ha)

*Chapter 2:

1. Do you get along with your parent(s): look. a unicorn.

*Chapter 3:

Favourites

1. Ice Cream: green tea~

2. Season: autumn

3. Shampoo/conditioner: fine with anything.

4.Favourite Thing(s): My letters.

*Chapter 4:

Do You...

1. Dance in the shower? yep.

2.Write on your hand? yeppp.

3. Call people back? sometimes

4. Believe in love: nope.

5.Believe in God? Yepp

6. Any bad habits? of course

7. Any mental health issues: HAHA. i question whether i'm insane

*Chapter 5:

Have You...

2. Sprained stuff: i don't sprain any part ;D

3. Had physical therapy: yeah

4. Gotten stitches? nope

5. Taken painkillers: Yepp

6. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling: wish i could

8. Thrown up at the dentist: HAHA. thrown up because of the dentist. Yes!

9. Sworn in front of your parents? Always.

10. Had detention? I'm a good girl :D

*Chapter 6:

Who/What was the last

1. Movie(s): The last airbender.

2. Three people to text you: connie. pril. claudia love

3. Person you called: Les partner!

4. Person you hugged: hmmm... pril>

5. Person you tackled? BROTHER. SCORE.

6. Person you talked to on MSN? 4 people.

7. Thing you touched? computer?

8. Thing you ate? Banana cake :D

9. Thing you drank: coke.

10. Thing you said: over?

11. Person you kissed? someone.

12. Place you went? tuition?

whoever wish to be tagged. you're tagged.

oh ya. 拜姐和弟

i think my chi teacher think i'm crazy = = cause

we kept acting like crazy people during lunch. ;love.

finished projects.

i can't face your disapprovals.

Your words sting more than you would ever know.

But nothing will change my mind.

I won't stand there and do nothing.

I will still be who I am.

Sorry to be such a disappointment.

it has always been the three of us hasn't it? that's all that is said.

nothing's all right

lost it all

nothing last forever

i'm sorry i can't be perfect

now it's too late

we can't go back

i'm sorry i can't be perfect

nothing gonna change the things you said

nothing gonna make this right again

please don't turn your back

i can't believe i tried to talk to you

but you don't understand

like a roller coaster, however there is no stop.

we are all passengers on the edge

of falling, yet we all believe

we are flying.

oh seventeen oh nine oh ten.

one is to twenty two.

I believe in You.

i was put to your shoes. and i felt the pain.

so much worse. the sharp realization.

The uselessness linger when there is nothing you could do.

except to hold it in. and let it all out

all that is, is not what it seems.

all the laughter, they are just a pretense to

hide what is truly inside.

the smiles. all so forced.

i can't hear.

the voice that lies within.

i can't see.

the person that is inside.

listening to their laugher.

all thrown at me.

basking in their insults.

fearing their wrath.

will this ever be real?

we all wear mask. some wear it better than others. perhaps we are all actors staged in this act called Life.

5th month.♥
HAHA. I only started counting from your birthday.
So today was rather epic i must say..
Pe had to be the funniest.
ex-emath teacher was like walking past..
and we were like gasping..
then the pe techer was like "what's wrong..?"
We were like got pop idol mah!

then played for awhile...damn fail..
count :0
HAHAHA. I think i rather play floorball,basketball..
any other day.. just not with caramel. She will tire me out. :D
then Farmer came.. and we like Oh my gosh.. she took camera..
trying to hide away from her..
which was fail. as we all know,
it is an open wide space.. = =
so in the end, we just gave up and took a class pic (:
england was sneezing quite bad.. bless.

lit was funny too.
keep moving around the class.
we were like damn sick la..
want to see mercy running around.. with no clothes..
HAHA.

i think everything was okay bah..
just that during emath...
i kept feeling worried and all.
Bit and pieces keep falling in.
I feel rather nostalgic.

HAHA. the best damn thing.
I was like doing my reflection..
then finish. i was like okay!
i hand up. then i turned around to go
out of class. and ran smack face into the door.
was absolutely laughing like crazy.
then.. because i was laughing too badly..
my legs gave up, and i fell on the floor.
which just threw me into laughing fits.
HEHE.

then i saw chinese teacher.
she was like saying i was the only one in class who
put that i didn't change. which was true what!
didn't change :P

then saw her again.. she was like
if we see each other one more time,
we must make a wish.
sad. didn't see her again. T_T

Stayed to do work.
Went home with mel,chellene and brother-in-law.
Ate ice cream ♥ she treated. since i treated her to
yogurt just now. HAHA. mel just keep being high..
saying how hot she is..
then i was like yay yay yay.
the bus is here.
then she gave the wtf look and
we went laughing running after the bus.

then went to the same place again ♥
eat with brother in law~~
HEEE.
Happy 5th month!

ps; don't be too jealous lover~ still ♥ you

as it is, tears no longer fall. But it is still raining.

WORK DUE

Amaths Crescent EOY 2006-2007 papers

Do corrections and finish Physics WB

Emaths AngMoKio Sec and St. Andrews EOY papers

Chinese Bravo

Chinese 测验

3 Chinese commenting on the forums

2 Chinese news article 5c and national pride

2 news reports.

Emaths TB Ex. 6.4, 6.1 10.4 rev10

SS Project

1 geog qsn

chem worksheet

Revsion

feel much better somehow. thanks to those people who cared.
nat. rekhy. hasee.lover. pril. gracie.joey.

you make me feel so much better..

i will continue to fight, to try and to go on encouraging.

fed up being at home. feel like drowning all in music.

but the harsh words still echo..

this time i will try even harder

i will fight back

i will learn

i will fall

i will cry

i will smile

but it's okay

cause i know i'm still trying

for if all fails, then the deeper

i will fall, the harder i will be for me to climb

but i won't let it stop.

Emo or not,

depressed or not

fake or not

lies or not

I will live.

i would be lying if i say i'm not disappointed today.

rant rant rant. skip if you wish to.

i feel like laying it all and point fingers of accusation.

But i realize end of it all, it just boils down to our batch.

things that took years to build, just came down in moments.

it really break me inside.

I keep telling myself not to care too much for fear i will just

get disappointed inside.

"Expectations kills everything"

It really hurts every time i try so hard to persuade them

to come, to love the things i do. To love, enjoy, singing in unity.

All just came crashing down today.

When i first look at the shoes outside... i was like

it can't be. there couldn't be so little people.

Maybe sectionals.

Maybe it's another cca.

All the false hope just disappeared when i stepped in.

The pathetic state of it all.

My section fared the worst.

I can't help but blaming it all on myself.

I can't believe i was the only senior beside chi sin to actually be there

in my section.

I'm not going to lay out names. not to embarrass nor to make you all

guilty.

Just take awhile to think.

did you even like it?

did you dislike being in it or the people in it?

honestly. ask yourselves these.

Cause i have no more strength inside me to convince

you all to care nor to come. I feel like giving up.

Really.

People i thought would care, would be dedicated,

selfishly took it upon themselves to skip it.

I mean and i bet this goes in their head

It's okay to skip..

I have tuition. I have other commitments. I have to study. I have exams coming.

No one would miss me anyway.

So much priority, it just never surfaced to them that every single one would

have the same thought.

I did have tons of homework pilling. Projects to do. Lessons to attend. Revision.

I'm not very free either.. i'm not even suppose to be online. but i really feel like getting this off my chest

so don't get offended if you happen to be one of them.

3. pathetic 3. How much lower would you sink.

Do i really have to resort to bribes so that you would come?

lack of discipline. Lack of commitment. Lack of responsibility.

Absolutely no self reliance.

spend it all relying. 3 whole years.

Spending all these time on complaints how much this sucks...

Chosen.. i had given trying to convince the blind to see the light.

If we ourselves skipped, how do we expect others not to follow the same?

How do we expect the next elected to lead?

i don't get the mentality. We always question why we been getting the same

award over and over again, but do we deserve something higher?

i won't be surprised if we only get certificates this time.

I wish to wash my hands off. Ask them to get the damn stuff done themselves.

We have no reasons to comply to their unreasonable demands and be slaves.

To get our efforts slapped. I still have to fret over collecting money

which is what i am not supposed to be doing but doing the necessary for the

ungrateful.Bang pots and pans. Never hit the head.

rant over.

Went to order. hiccups here and there. But we're finally done. One thing i'm proud of today

is that i've done something that I though i would never do.

But i keep having gastric. And i came back, feeling so dizzy

due to the overwhelming quotations.

I can just choose a shop that sells exorbitant prices then rush back.

But no, because i give a damn about them, i went around before settling down

to a shop which helps a lot. Rushing back to get efforts slapped.

I bet none of them check their emails.

Now i have to be a "loanshark" as if i have nothing much better to do now.

patience i have been trying not to be disappointed. reassuring myself

time after time, that this will be their last. They have good reasons.

It's a vicious cycle can't you see?

That once you started, you can't stop.

And we have all fallen

to shambles.

I'm sorry if it offended anyone because i really AM disappointed. VERY upset. If you can't stand the bare truth thrust out in front of you, i have nothing to say.

been a long time since i talk till 3.
yawn. Damn sleepy.
anyway.. shall post up about yesterday.
i'm irritated.. very.. get off. get out. get lost.
but before you do, i will beat you with a stick :D

had performance.. been a long time since i sang

old parts.. oh well. was okay bah...

except i sped up a lot..

then they kept saying about parallax error..

haha.

oh well. choir tee design done.

heck care. i will hit you with a stick too if you complain

so much (:

it hurts a lot not to be able to be there for you

right now. All seems so far away.

You say you will give me time

to find back myself.

But what if this is what i'm truly am?

Have that meant you lost your faith in me?

Liar liar.

Your lies have caught up with you.

I will add you in on my wanted list to beat up.

your emoness is killing me from the inside.

really. you may think that you make people happy

but that's just another lie.

I feel like shutting you up. i don't wish to know what words

are yours to believe and which is just lies to be with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

aahhh. feel so much better letting it out. Those tears arn't mine to comment.

borrowed maya. hope it's nice..

lifegroup was fun. Really nice people, i feel welcomed. Thank you.

Truly felt so much better.

Choir tee desgin is up :D

Just need to settle some stuf and voila. It'll be done soon.

pray they will accept it> <

though all like few years older than me..

but truly wonderful people.

Haha. Beside i look older than some... *smile*

i'm great at guessing age... i realise.

and remembering names :D

weird stuff i remember.. hmm...

oh well. love today nonetheless

even if it was all lies to begin with

jealousy is a mental illness.

Get out of my life. thanks.

love the colours lp gave.. but i think i will die from skin cancer lor D:

should seriously start on my hw.. and revision -.-

no motivation..

finish watching mr nobody!!! O____O

if inception is mindblowing, this gave me a dose

of physics, psychology and some psycho crap

in a 9yr guy.

but i think i should stop sleeping at such weird hours.

one quote love~ As long as you don't choose, everything remains possible.

an explanation of why i can never be able to choose. HAHA

In chess, it's called Zugzwang... when the only viable move is not to move.

Each of these lives is the right one! Every path is the right path. Everything could have been everything else and it will have just as much meaning.

sigh. i love all the quotes. But still, nothing beats furuba.

gomen. For putting it all on you. Pushing all the blame. I don't regret what had happened.

May all be well. And true when it all turns clear.

who am i kidding.

I'm still not over you.. all the 3 years have gone.

And i'm still running away, just looking at you...

idiot. JOXY GET OFF.

that cocky smile. i won't see i don't care.

BLAH BLAH BLAH.

pencils are nice. so are pens. Best of all has to be an eraser... sigh i miss my pencil case..

" are you serious... you lost it again..."

"I didn't lost it AGAIN. this is the first!!"

" -.- yeah sure. so has to be your pens, your spectacles, your watch, your water bottle..
tell me is there one thing you do not lose.."

"haha.. right. very funny."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"so have you found your pencil case"

"NOOO.. wait.. i didn't tell you i lost it.."

"But you were screaming at my insertname here. the whole class practically heard it..."

" oops."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I STILL CAN'T FIND IT.

I SHALL POST A LOST AND FOUND

A BLACK CONVERSE PENCIL CASE

CONVERSE. GREEN AND WHITE

THERE'S A KEYCHAIN ATTACHED TO IT. SAYING ♥lf

THERE'S PENS AND PENCIL. ERASER. RULER. STAPLER IN IT.

iT'S DAMN NICE. I WANT IT BACK.eppp.

vonnie came back today :D

felt very dizzy today. I think the most epic stuff has to be during math.

OK! index 17!!! What's the answer

...

....

..

Index 17? Who's index 17?!?

(dammit.. shoot.. crap...)

.....

.....

INDEX 17?!?!

(sobs..)

AHHHH.. YES YES WHAT'S THE ANSWER?!?!

uh... half?

YES YES... OKAY! Let's continue...

(Y) EPIC.

choir tee is giving me a headache.. grrr. gowns too.. grrr..

preparing for fye..

somehow i begin to appreciate all that you have done so much better

all the pains.. all the hidden message behind each harsh word.

though i still don't agree with most of what you do,

i guess i'm putting myself into others' shoes better.

I begin to see the fake fronts people put

the harsh words they say just to cover it up

the care that is all beneath

maybe what they all need

is just a little push to break it all apart.

but who am i to judge.

Mr nobody. Such inspiring words.

i broke not once, but thrice. I guess i snapped.

gomen. I don't know what else to say.. so emotional these days.

But i'm glad this time i chose to walk ahead. I didn't run away

i gave in and said what i really felt, of who i really thought of myself.

I can't believe i did, but it took me quite awhile, with tears in my eyes,

to tell you that i still do care.

A hug a day.

Hugs. Friends.