Walk two moons

I love that line. It was a book i fell in love with.

Hmm. Nothing to do much at home, just moping around, feeling sick.

I did something i regretted yesterday but yeah..

Updates!

Have been having attacks much, though still haven't found the root cause of it. so all i can do is pray for healing and just continue to not do things that make me act up. Which although seemed rather stupid, cause it means absolutely no running and jumping, and all other fun stuff which i love to do. Haiz. But can't help it right, since i'm getting way a lot of scolding cause of my reckless behavior. Reminded me of what mel said about me, I'm not exactly depending on people anymore but i can't depend on people to always constantly care about me if i don't even first, care about my own health issues.

Yeps. A friend once told me that i was a total introvert. It doesn't mean i'm anti social, but i'm just not someone who open up to people. HAHAHAH that friend called me a glue for always sticking to her. But still thanks char, for every one of those moments.

+Exams are fast approaching. I don't feel prepared at all. Gah.

I wonder if I ever cross your mind. even for that few minutes.

I will remember this moment

There had been lots of gathering during the holidays. Quite fun all of them.

But yet, my attacks still haven't went away..

~

I saw her standing there. She was wearing black. I have no idea what made her stood out from the crowd. But as the people that past by, i can't help but wonder she looks familiar. Somehow it seems the people that past by us, started to slow down or has time begin to halt?

She turned around, walked towards me. I can hear the echoes of her footsteps. which was appalling considering we are standing on a busy street, with overwhelming number of people and it was pretty much chaotic. But i can still hear it all the same. The sound of her footsteps. Her hands slowly reaching up, pointing at me.

I felt a strange sensation. Then as i looked around, i found myself chained. Somehow, i couldn't move at all and she was still coming closer. Closer and closer. i tried to move away, but i can't. It was as though somehow things start to pale, and all i see is her. My legs couldn't move, they became so stiff.

She pointed at my leg and raised her hand.

My leg moved according to her. I had no power or control it anymore. I stared in fright. Muttering to myself, move! stupid leg, move. but no matter how hard i try, it won't move. It was as though it has its own will and it is only listening to her.

I was no longer on the busy streets. But on those shiny operating table. I feel so exposed. There was only one light shining down on me. I no longer see her. But i still feel her presence, Tears stained my cheek. "go away" a bare whisper flew past my lips. "stop controlling me."

She came into view once more, she laughed. Her sinister laugh send a chill down my soul. Breaking whatever left of me.

"what are you saying? I am you." The light shone at her face, and i saw those hollow eyes staring back me. I was staring at a person who has a striking resemblance of me. No, she is me.

That's when there was a black out. The voices, they kept coming at me. sneering at me. Laughing.

"Stop it. Stop it. stop it. Get out of my head."

And i snapped out of it.

Leave me a note before goodbye..

Hai!

Got so lazy of doing physics... so shall post first bah before i go back to doing it. zzt.

I started using weibo more! It's awesomeeee, the chinese quotes that i found posted up are so beautiful...

She's leaving tomorrow... somehow it's tugging hard at my heartstrings..

it never felt this way with my parents.. they come and go for business or vacation but

she's not them. She's the closest person to me... and i just can't stand the fact she's leaving.. it felt like something

is going to be missing from me. That's just how much she means to me.

Prepared to wake up early to send her off.

Today was fun!! I think the first time we ever went out together.

6 of us! it was utterly hilarious.. been a long time since i ever laughed so much..

And i realize this is probably one of the rare moment where i went out without initiating one.

It was nothing much, just lunch and a bit of hang out. But it was still niceee.

Gushing over guys ( not me.. but well yeah, jy and sam was hilarious)

It was supposed to be lzy, evil line and me, but somehow we managed to gather more people.

Conversation flew, and it was just so hilarious, and at the same time, it makes me rather weird.

I mean i do love it all.. but this is one of those times that i went without cat. I miss her.. :(

Then evil line and I took almost the whole red line back home.. a journey of more than 1 hour :O

But still, even that was fun.. and i realize my childhood got spoiled by trn and evil line... D:

Sad can.. lzy didn't listen of course.. but it took me quite long to realize the whole thing..

my brain hasn't been processing much stuff well..

i even fell asleep while i was showering... and when i was cleaning up my room, i remembered

she was telling me she will tidy and i stoned for literally 5mins before processing it..

Hahaha! Falling sick again.. but oh well. Just a few more questions and i'm off to bed.

I really miss lifegroup a lot. The talk with joyce just make me miss them even more. But the feeling of

being detached from it all, is just overwhelming. And when i start thinking i stop mattering, God, thank You

for reminding me again that I'm needed. By the people in my life. I just never stop loving You even more. ♥

I don't know what i'm really feeling, i found it hard to explain to joyce itself. But it just felt an odd

chord struck whenever I'm there. Was it jealousy? Doubts just formed in my mind.. making me wonder

whether do i really fit in this puzzle..

Parting note, thank God i haven't had much of panic attack. (:

Shall just leave you with what He said to me.

It's something i found on FB.. but i found it applied.. so...

On this day of your life, Daphne, we believe God wants you to know ... that you matter.

People need you. People you love and even people you have never met are depending on you. You matter to God as well. No one else can be the person you were created to be. Do not think for a minute that you are not important; - the world needs you. God needs you.

love

daffy♥

Haven't updated for so longggg.
Holidays just started.. but then again, at this time of the year, one don't really get much of a holiday no?

Hmmmz. Well, let's see... life is pretty eventful for this year.

First time:

-been to a play

-got locked in school

-got sent to the hospital

-had 7days of intensive

-witness a marriage

-had one major exam

-failed 5 subjects

-singing chi songs chionging hw.

-receiving a card randomly

-been to 2 poly and 1 jc

-had funfair

-went for a farewell

Choir farewell was just rather weird. But then again, i miss choir already. Those juniors.. and just the joy of singing. Well. the joy of singing i only experienced it here and there.. But still, i miss the hectic life of a Qm. And now, it seems almost weird to be focusing on just studies and nothing else. D: I went back that day.. only to help my juniors catch a pokemon -____- but oh well, they looked up to my awesome catching skills. But still~

Chinese intensive is the another thing i'm missing. I don't know.. the antics we always pulled. Eveline and I, always end up fighting.. HAHAHA. but i still enjoyed it all. Scary but i really started to love chinese, maybe it was lao shi's influence. She always going on and on about morals and all.. but somehow unlike other teachers, they really do make sense and i do feel like applying it to life.

People are saying that i don't open up to people anymore. But i lost the need to. I find it tiring and it becomes a barrier i guess. Like we can just have fun and do crazy stuffs. I don't really want to go deeper than that. Not just fear, it's just gotten completely unnecessary. But saying that, it makes me wonder, is it why I'm feeling rather detached from the world and others are saying I'm feeling distant.

Hmmz.

Daffy.