hiie~

These days have gone by so fast :o

planning to do. Fye's in two months time.

National day celebration..

i hope it goes well.

touch the sky,

it has become grey due to constant rain.

Open your hands, you'll see

that someone is trying to reach out for you.

And because of that, you have to try harder.

0801- looking forward to meeting all of you again.

0802- jo, i miss you.

plan: Lf outing . section outing. class outing. tuition gang outing

K; v, the altos, lp

study thingy : i couldn't remember well :o. is it like von, farihah, lyn, jojo, v and lp?

i'm not sure .

teehee.

Ps; the update you want, brother in law. tsk.

you don't even know

i don't want to lie and say it doesn't hurt.

it does. a lot.

I don't want to sound as though it means everything

to me, but it hurts badly.

You don't even know.

I'm so sorry for the people that have to be involved

because i just can't bring myself together.

It gotten so bad that i can't even stand myself

to be there for others, without doubting

my ability. I can't. I saw, and remembered

all the times, and what you did.

I don't want to hear any lies, I don't want to find

out anymore, i just want to sit there in the rain,

willing the rain to do the crying for me.

You don't even know that.

I hate having to effing lie to myself

to come up with excuse for you,

to defend you.

why do i care so much?

1) avoid (if possible)

2) ignore (if possible)

3) run away (if possible_

rhd celebration today.
wore a freaking thing that looks damn -, i feel like just ripping it apart. It's damn effing looooonnnngg. So embarrassing going to school that way..-.-i survive lessons.
amazingly, the only subject i look forward to now is chinese. fun fun fun~ teeheehee.
went high... v thought i was crazy. Then, it was like today lesson just have test. and i was like crap, i'm gonna die. Then the teacher was like.. wah, daphne smile so sweet. test definitely full mark... then i was like o.o i'm gonna die.
then lecture lecture. sigh. guess i'm holding on till then.
lost my wallet on the way out. == i think i'm outwitting myself each time.
i wonder which was worse. specs or wallet -.-
then chiong like siao to watch movie.
i think i raised my voice.. brother in law and von von was like ._.
haha. sorry guys.
watch despicable me.
somehow it seemed i don't really find it funny...
then went to eat late lunch due to my wallet, didn't have time to eat.
camwhore awhile~
susan said i look ridiculous. hehe.
then jojo lost her wallet. (y)
then we talked for quite a long time, i guess.
it seemed as though the fight before,
just make us better friends.

The rain seemed to be

predicting my mood.

all day just being so upset.

I wonder why

Not me.

you may never know, but till now, i still miss you

. Maybe you will never see, i wonder why you still have that effect,

no longer am i scared, no longer am i afraid, but now,

yearning for the times we used to have.

Maybe i grew used to you cheering me up

But things never last.

I got to try to be strong myself.

Then i see another one tries

another fail

I should give up, shan't I?

i grew tired of having to dash my hope

again and again.

all for the sake

that one would be there

that one would understand

I know i'm not at times

the best of friends.

But i don't want to let go

I don't want to hold on either

today i saw the person that was trying

to struggle out,

the one that smile, that jumps around,

that's not me.

so friday.let's see...
well.. it seemed like we have like quite a few free periods to ourselves as the teachers didn't come. heh heh, got russia addicted to fb games. chem.. play with chemicals... didn't get scolding.. maybe i'm not that bad as i thought i would be.. chinese teacher gave us a scare when she said she's not teaching us anymore. love her a lot ♥ don't gooooo..!!! a math... was hilarious. the teacher was like saying that glow sticks is so common. we, (insert class) should be different! we need to be innovative! it's like something we need to identify with ourselves. we should use the a math textbook and wave it around! the whole class burst out laughing. then mei came over and we changed. then i went to meet brother in law... hehe, the mother was like asking me to take care of her.. and we were like Lol. I can't even take care of myself. got lost trying to go to her house and in the end, turns out i went one round of the bus journey without realising. Haha, she looks like she's going for some business interview, tsk, brother in law, looks so much girly than me, the sister in law. hehe. Anyway, then met v, who just claimed me as her date o.o haha, though it was so funny, cause they were like saying my face is too girly and i'm wearing guyish clothes, smoking a cigarette which is actually a lollipop ^^ anyway, then concert, met people, take pictures, high high. Screaming around. Dada was -.- me cause i look too guy. fine. next time, concert, i wear dress. tsk. which won't be too soon either~~Results were unexpected though.... Still, congrats to grace~ grace ftw~~~ 1,2,3 go grace! though we booed for the dance category. wanted joker to win.. ):

saturday- v came over. was like talking a lot... as usual. Then we started recording? unfaithful, the first song we both know together. Though i think the voice wasn't as nice.. haha. maybe it's the recording..

events coming up! : shopping with jojo, with pril, k session with lp!, altos!, v!, going out with brother in law ♥ party party till we drop dead ♥

i don't want to do this anymore, i don't want to be the reason why, every

time i walked out that door, i seemed to die a little more inside,

i don't wanna hurt him anymore,

i don't wamna be

a murderer.

Back to the same place

post about yesterday later.

chilling out with v~ love

i guess we are back to square one except more complicated. yay. ignorance is bliss. but i can no longer ignore the facts anymore.

You have no idea what you just did.

Maybe all you did was just say hi.

But it was all that was enough for me.

It makes my thoughts and feelings go away.

You drive me to the corner, where i just realize

What a fool i had been, all these years.

You showed me what i used to be, what i was.

That person that smile so often, it's hard to make her stop

Laughing, the person who rarely get upset, that someone who

Is so full on joy and it seemed nothing get her down.

That was who i was.

I want that girl back.

These years has showed me that

armors are built day by day,

yet it also showed a lot about the people

Where we chose to hide ourselves away

For fear of being hated, rejected

That we stopped being ourselves.

I was so scared that i turned to be one of them

Without realizing i did.

today was quite nice :D first two period is chinese, love my chinese teacher♥ Damn nice. Anyway, finally have lit back! Miss out 2days of lit due to sickness )): anyway, today we talked about ♥. She was so hilarious, saying that we couldn't be lit students, we can't even tell that they were professing their love. HAHA. that really shocked us all, my friend was like " serious? they are kidnapped and still make love???" Choir, the usual. not much to say...

it's only until we face changes, do we cherish the stuff we used to had.

I wanna sing the old Salve Regina!!!!

傻瓜

其实他做的坏事我们都懂

没有什么不同

眼光闪烁 暧昧流动

闭上眼当作听说

其实别人的招数我们都懂

没有什么不同

故作软弱 撒娇害羞

只是有一点别扭

傻瓜也许单纯地懂

爱得没那么做作

爱上了我不保留

傻瓜 我们都一样

被爱情伤了又伤

相信这个他不一样

却又再一次受伤

傻瓜 我们都一样

受了伤却不投降

相信付出会有代价

代价只是一句傻瓜

i moved again.

for different reasons or so,

i started deleting blogs again.

stuck to this.

today, sick.

gah. the weather is so moody and unpredictable.

leave no more trace of pain,

let the tears be kept

all within.