Guitar had never been my forte. But I had fell in love with it ever since I got a hand of it in secondary 2. But i remembered clearly that even though I was one of the better players then, my teacher often said I lacked the confidence and get so self conscious I stopped playing. And perhaps out of sheer laziness, the idea of playing guitar was soon thrown in the midst of syf and studies.
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Then came jc where I ended up in guitar. My og wanted me to join choir actually, because apparently i had charmed then when i sang during orientation, i wanted to join council actually, but the heart for music led me to choose guitar. Did i regret? Nope. Because my skills were not exactly up to the standards, I had to train with my buddies who do not have music background, and cause i had piano to back, i became one of the better players then. And often during then, my vice pres would walk around and have fun with us, that was then I wanted to be a vice pres, to look out for the welfare of the others.
When elections came and people started running for positions, i went with my choice of vice pres. Against someone I knew had all chance of winning it, due to her having better academic, due to her having better guitar background, due to her being more lovable then, did i regret running against her? Definitely not. Because I had brought the courage to stood for myself, to say a speech in front of my seniors and peers, to be thick skinned and ask people to vote for me, at the end of it, i had done my best, i got into exco nevertheless, and that started fully my journey into guitar.
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The first year has shown me a bunch of friends, fanatics who love guitar, who could come up with a new song straight on the spot, who loves to jam and sing, who really taught me the passion in music. They were also the source to my laughter on fridays evening where we will jab at each other and just have fun. I looked forward to each session despite my dreary school days. As time progress, people would fight, between the people who are stubborn, people get backstabbed, people start to prioritize and compromise, i found my workload getting bigger and bigger. And after awhile I realize, in my department, im the sole sai kang warrior. But it didnt mean i didnt have help, i had my guitar pres that became my closest guy friend to date, i had my erratic sx, my perverse rock & roll bro and the quiet zk. They became a family to me.
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When results came to play, we started to drift apart. All of us did, and i guess i started getting weary of cca. It starts becoming more and more of a burden than enjoyment, but each session, i love poking fun of my student conductor, cy, and watch her jump around like a little kid. Life was good, despite the rush for concert, for end of year trip to japan, even the last event we had of syf. There were many performances I was gratefully for, but none impacted me more than cip concert, where that was the song I had worked hard for and back out because of my cowardice of being laughed at. Did I regret, yes and no.
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Guitar had seen me cry, over the loss of my friends who started judging me, has seen me rolled on the floor laughing, over the most outrageous theories my friends could debate over on a bus trip or the perverse stuff they would say, has seen me teared, because i was heartened by the care and concern shown to me, has seen my irritation, over my immaturity and my emotional outburst. But it has seen me love as well and lastly, seen me grown.
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The months I went back to help, I had poured my grouches and my worries into pushing forth the juniors. With each batch has its own fun, its own journey. I walked through mine, growing so much, and learning so much, i had my say in the picking of the next batch, no matter how much of a headache that was, and seeing them so bonded, makes me feel proud, and lastly, this batch of juniors, i hope they walked well, despite what may comes, I know that jjge will leave an imprint in each others' lives.
